Ripped in 30

So lets begin with a very random story. When I was in high school and texting had just started to become popular our phones had a typing function called t9 (do you know what I am talking about?)It was the auto correct before auto correct...ya you know! Anyhow, regardless of how many times I actually spelled out the word pissed t9 always assumed I was trying to say ripped.FRUSTRATING. So finally my friends and I just decided we would start using the word ripped in normal conversation when we were talking about being pissed. Yes, we were that cool. Ok now onto the reason I am sharing this crazy story about my past. Well, I just started Jillian's ripped in 30. Yes Jillian and I are on a first name basis, yes I have a love/hate relationship with that bitch, but at the end of the day she is the only one who is going to tell me how it is. Ok....back to ripped in 30. I did day 1 today and all I could think about was how I this video made me ripped (t9 for pissed) Yes, and you could only imagine how fitting it is that I use ripped and pissed interchangeably. So here I am lifting weights and I am 'ripped' that I don't look as fit as these bitches on the video, 'ripped' that they are SMILING while working out, 'ripped' that I had let myself go, 'ripped' that I haven't pushed myself harder, 'ripped' that my husband cut beer from his diet and literally lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks, I was just straight up 'ripped' y'all.
It is clearly fitting that I had this realization while doing Jillian, because lets be honest we have had several falling outs including me throwing a fit because she pushes me hard and then it always ends with me crawling back because seriously No More Trouble Zones makes me feel ridiculously sore and fabulous all at the same time. So today, I had a new realization, I need to push myself like I feel Jill pushes me. Because I can only do what I believe I can do. Up until recently I didn't have much faith in what I could do...I didn't push myself because I couldn't do it! Well, today after Jillian royally 'ripped' me off I decided to go 'jogging' to cool down and burn some extra cals. I was planning on running a mile...once I got close to my turn around spot I had some Mama Laughlin inspiration in my head and realized nothing hurt and I wasn't really all that tired so I pushed myself farther, every mile mark I came to I just reminded myself that I really was not in pain, so I pushed on. Finally, I knew I needed to work tonight so I decided to head home. As I rounded the corner to my house I was feeling extremely accomplished. I knew I had run far. When I pulled out my phone and stopped my run I just about shit myself...8 miles. I ran 8 miles! I have never ran farther than 5 miles because I always think I can't do it. Well ladies, I did it. And I am no longer 'ripped' because I realize it was my lack of motivation and drive that has held me back. My body is an amazing thing. I may not love how it looks but dammit this body carried my fat ass 8 miles.

Moral of the story, it took me getting ridiculously pissed, jealous, and depressed to push myself to the limit. Everyone says there will be a moment when something clicks for you and your weightless. I hadn't really felt a click yet, don't get me wrong I have been working out and watching what I eat but I feel like I have just been going through the motions. Today I realized I can do WHATEVER i set my mind to. Then I saw this tank from Abundant Apparel...I may HAVE to HAVE it!